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Simon's Story

Low income single dad tries to "keep it all together" in the era of Welfare Reform, Child Protective Services and The Juvenile Dependency Court.

By Simon Kasada

The scene out of the smeary windshield as I push my 1989 Toyota Corolla off the freeway is this: cop cars take up all the available parking in front the San Francisco County Courthouse. A few are even double-parked, despite the placard posted on the light post which threatens that this a $286 fine. Probably not for them. I swear, my son does a better job with his Matchbox cars than this.

The alleys off Bryant come up quickly, narrow and crowded with bail bond offices, but this is where I maneuver my car, which unfortunately doesn't have power steering. I bought it brand-new while Christina was pregnant, my first car right after my 18th birthday. It, like my son, is now 11 years old. Oh man, I'm so old. The good thing about it is, it noses easily into a shoe box sized space by a rumpled-looking man who wants two dollars for "finding" it for me. Whatever. There's time to grab something to eat at nearby McDonalds and run inside.

I'm not good with huge public buildings; the heels of my cowboy boots make more of a racket than other people's shoes, I tend to not be able to find the elevators, and when asking for directions my voice bellows octaves above the sibilant tone observed in these sanctums. I thought I'd waltz in and say, "Hey, Judge, I need a reduction in my child support payments, so I can take some classes at City College and get a better job." With a few simple classes I can get an apprentice mechanic's job with Northwest Airlines at SFO. Up until now I've had many jobs, most recently door-to-door watch salesman; and I can usually only afford my son's birthday, Christmas, and child support two or three months out of the year.

I, like more than half of all non-paying dads, according to a University of Wisconsin study, typically earn less than $6,100 a year. For this, thousands of fathers are criminalized as "deadbeat" dads, when in reality it comes down to a question of poverty. Huge sections of working-age males in the United States are unemployed, and have exhausted all hopes of finding jobs.

When the mainstream media reports unemployment figures of 10, 15, 20 percent, whatever they are, this neat figure masks the truth of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people, not percentages, totally unemployed. The predicament of African-Americans and other non-whites is even more staggering. On top of this are those who are underemployed, working part-time or in the home.

Rich men can throw cash at their "exes" for the upkeep of their children, and then, no problem. In addition, if they are well-connected or powerful, then the courts look the other way. It is on the shoulders of the poor that the wear and tear in the fabric of society is blamed. None of this addresses the question of what is needed to care for and maintain people; children, mothers, and fathers.

The courtroom is packed with men. They are slumped in the benches, with resigned looks of boredom and exhaustion imprinted on their faces. Somehow I've got to make contact with my court-appointed counselor. I don't know how I'm going to do this.

When Christina and I broke up, we decided that we wouldn't go to court over child support; instead, I'd send what I could, when I could. This has included half of all the money I've made through writing; some six thousand dollars. Eventually, Christina went forward and married someone else, who has a good paying job, that meets both of their needs better than I can. While this doesn't excuse me from sending money along, nor from being whatever kind of parent I can be from two thousand miles away, I thought "Okay".

In order for my son to be covered by the insurance through this man's job, we were steered in the direction of the court system. Which seems to be the overriding message that comes down to people; that it is good to have the system in your life, your business, and your personal affairs.

The court turns fathers into visitors in their own houses, brief interlopers through the lives of their children. If you don't have a home, it can be even worse.

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If you are homeless in America, and are trying to have a family, it is like saying to the legal system, to Child Protective Services (CPS), "Come take my kids away!" It is increasingly arbitrary, the reasons for taking children away from their parents. CPS has a checklist for what constitutes abuse, and they define emotional abuse as including "constant family conflict".

In families, especially low income ones, where there's job turmoil, the struggle for shelter, perhaps issues of substance abuse, where there is often just a single parent trying to hold everything together; who's ever heard of conflict?

The focus of the legal system has been child support enforcement, which does nothing to cure unemployment or strengthen family traditions. Supposedly the aim of the courts is to help women, who are more often than not the custodial parent.

The San Jose Mercury News reported on the case of Hortense Bishop, a mother in Los Angeles, who went on welfare when the court didn't pass on to her the support they had ordered. Then the district attorney kept all but $50 because he found out that she was receiving the welfare assistance.

Welfare reforms that have come down in the last few years have tied the monetary assistance from government agencies to workfare type programs, meaning that if you don't work you can't get assistance. And now if you don't work you can't get shelter. If you don't have shelter your kids can be taken away (See: "Little Noah"; story on PNN).

Poverty levels for custodial parents have been estimated at 49%. Tangentially, mothers who are in jail face substantial barriers to parenting, and face having their children placed in foster care. The court system in this country has never been a friend of poor people, or of families struggling to keep their heads above water.

My sweaty eyes take in the courtroom. My ears cannot take the noise, nor my head the confusion. There doesn't seem to be any organization whatsoever. It's hard to understand what the process is for finding my counselor, or for going before the judge.

There are, literally, hundreds of men here; and they are wearing work shirts, and some have carried with them the little Igloo coolers that house their lunches. Some of them have done bad things to their exes. I remember when I found out Christina was having an affair I punched a hole in the plaster wall of our apartment and yanked the phone out of its jack.

The U.S. Congress has been reviewing a sequel to the 1994 Violence Against Women Act, which would offer social services to women, and requires employers to make special arrangements for women who claim abuse. Once again the bill focuses on increased child support enforcement as being the main solution for crumbling families and for the autonomy of women.

There is also the Fathers Count Act, which the National Organization for Women (NOW) opposes, which would offer the same sort of services, as well as job training for fathers who would otherwise fall into the dreaded designation of "deadbeat dad". NOW opposes it because it would take the focus off of women's issues; for in their view men are violent and women are victims, and capitalist justice is appropriate for everybody. An outlook like this splits men and women, who ultimately need to work together. Both of these legislative maneuvers stress legal means within an unfriendly judicial system, one that criminalizes poverty.

I love my son, and I don't want to end up making his life harder, which is why I am here. But I understand why it's difficult to show up in court. Many men come here already facing previous summons, and fear getting into bigger trouble. Finally I am able to locate my counselor, who doesn't seem the least bit interested in me. He asks me if I've filed the appropriate papers with the court in order to get a reduction in my child support payments. I ask him, what papers? Nobody ever told me about needing to file any papers in advance! The counselor licks his thin wispy lips and assures me that the judge is not going to listen to a thing I have to say if I haven't filed my notice yet. He tells me to look around at the huge backlog in the courtroom today, and that I might as well go home. Maybe he doesn't know, but I took the day off from work so I could come here. He also tells me that since I haven't been paying child support in a timely manner, my tax refunds will probably be seized.

All I can look forward to tomorrow is lugging my case of five dollar watches down Mission Street in Hayward. "Anybody wanna buy a nice ladies wristwatch?"

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THERAPY COSTS TOO MUCH!!!!
Dee Gray, M.S.W., M.F.C.   Licensed Therapist specializing in advocacy and crisis counseling. Mother, daughter and family counseling. Adoption and juvenile dependency. Literary and creative art counseling. Individual and group therapy. Sliding scale fee. (415) 541-5629.