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My name is Dathan. You wouldn't believe what I be eating for my school lunch. My first encounter with stale bread was the time at school I had bread that was so hard, I can break a window with it. At first it smelled like pound cake my mom made; but when I picked it up, it was ton cake. Sitting in the class, as soon as I swallowed, my eyes came out of my head, because it felt like a rock sliding down my throat. The taste on my tounge was like burnt rubber, like someone did a donut in Brookfield. I said, "Oh no, I ain't eating it." I went to the snack cabinet and saw some rats chilling. So, I asked if they wanted my brick bread, and they said, "Hell no, man, are you trying to kill us? We got sons that died off that stale bread." And that is not the whole plate either. Can you imagine what else I had? When I tried to dip the bread in gravy, it melted. I want to call to talk to the President about this stone bread. Him and Hillary said it was good for me, but I refuse to eat it. And believe me, there is something better than that. -Dathan Hall